Too Many Tough Decisions

I would like to go back to high school when my biggest decision was between wearing gray knee socks or blue knee socks for the day with my school uniform. Thank you very much.

These real life decisions are for the birds.

This year has been pretty crazy being in and out of the hospital so many times and struggling to improve my lung function to avoid a lung transplant quite so soon. For the most part I’ve been able to keep trucking along and do my best, but after last week’s hospital visit a lot of “this ish is getting real” questions started creeping up.

  • Do I keep trying to work full-time or go on disability so I have time to do extra breathing treatments and spend most of my time exercising to increase my lung function?
  • Do I start the testing to get on the transplant list for back-up?
  • Do I get a port instead of getting PICC lines every time I get sick?
  • Do I leave Florida and move home with my parents in Ohio so my mom doesn’t have to keep flying down every time I get sick? (They offered to re-do the basement for me, but e.t. lives down there.)
  • Should I plan to get my transplant in Tampa or back home in Pitt/Columbus/Cleveland?

How on earth is a 27 year old supposed to make such big decisions? Can’t you ask me if I’d prefer chicken nuggets or a cheeseburger?

I ended up having a rougher day than usual with all of this bearing down on me along with just having a tough day breathing. After two weeks in the hospital, I left there with a cold and am still trying to recover from it while on home IVs.

My day almost ended in tears realizing that I need to start making these decisions, but then I decided that was stupid because crying only makes it harder to breathe and does absolutely no good so I jumped on the elliptical instead. Problem solved 🙂

When given the option, always choose something productive over something that’s going to leave you in the same position (or worse) than as you started.

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